Mission Studies

Beyond Hospitality
(this is a series of documents)

BEYOND HOSPITALITY MISSION STUDY

For many years, the Bound Brook Presbyterian Church has welcomed gay and lesbian people into the life of the church. On behalf of the church, the session has taken various actions in response to issues at the national church level. As part of our effort to discern where the Spirit is leading us in relation to the gay and lesbian community as well as the larger church, the session decided to focus one of our mission studies on the congregation’s life in relation to its gay and lesbian members. Acknowledging our commitment to hospitality for all, we also sought to discern what commitments we might be called to that were beyond hospitality.

In late spring of 2009, we conducted five sessions of discussion, prayer and study. All meetings were open to the entire congregation. The primary product of those meetings was a draft questionnaire, which went through many revisions before being administered to all those worshipping one weekend. The results of that questionnaire are included in this study.

In the fall of 2009, we organized a series of four open events that include sociological analysis, Biblical study, personal sharing and reflections about our future directions. From those gatherings the potential for an ongoing task force that would address the issues of Beyond Hospitality has emerged.

Peg Sutherland, former Clerk of Session, gleaned from our Session minutes of the last 15 years, actions that the session had taken in relation to these issues. This included an action taken in June in response to a request from a church member.

Our long time choir director, Tom Rodgers, wrote a narrative describing events dealing with the issue of inclusion of gay and lesbian people into the life of the church over the years.

We offer these documents as our Beyond Hospitality Mission Study.

A NARRATIVE HISTORY OF GAY AND LESBIAN ISSUES AT
THE PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH BOUND BROOK NJ

This narrative will attempt to summarize those issues and events pertaining to gay and lesbian causes which have occurred over the past several decades. The first part is purely remembrances by the author, who has been employed by the church as its Director of Music since the autumn of 1976. The second part is a list of the actions taken by the Session (church board). It has been compiled by Margaret Sutherland, whom we thank for her diligence and tenacity in extracting these bits of information. Having been Clerk of Session for many years, she was right at home with the project.

The first time the word “homosexual” or “homosexuality” was uttered in these sacred walls was probably long before my tenure. There is a volume of published sermons by one of the former pastors, The Rev. Dr. Carlton Allen, who was pastor during the 1950’s to early 1960’s. In it is a sermon which he preached on sex. He seemed to be a man who was not afraid to tackle social issues of the day. (One might be treading on thin ice even in this day to approach the subject on a Sunday morning.) It was a sermon basically preached to help relieve some anxiety in parents, and perhaps some youth, over the sexual revolution going on in society at that time. Aside from the usual topics of premarital sex, birth control, masturbation and divorce, he also touched on homosexuality. It was called a “sexual variant” at that time! Nonetheless, by merely mentioning it was, for the time, quite courageous. What he said was even more enlightened for many ordained clergy of his day. I am paraphrasing. He reminded people that it has always existed, that the AMA had declared it a mental disorder and that the Bible did mention it, but—and this is where the man was way ahead of his time—that perhaps the church needed to look more closely at this topic, for recent scholarship of these biblical passages was beginning to shed a different light on their interpretation. Perhaps the future will bring a different understanding of what is very real to many individuals, both male and female!! It’s amazing he was not tarred and feathered for even uttering these words. It also says a lot about the kind of people the church was attracting at that time.

During those turbulent 60’s and early 70’s the church had some incidences dealing with issues of homosexuality Some were situations which have no official documentation and are really nothing more than he-said-she-said issues, or more appropriately he-said-he-said issues. Some were very serious. To relate any specifics would be irresponsible. They were private matters. They were told to me by older members, many of whom are deceased now, and, as is the human condition, many of these stories were never exactly the same.

I remember shortly after my arrival here in the autumn of 1976 the denomination was beginning to look into ordination issues. Dr. Brian T. Hislop, the pastor at that time, was a firm believer in Presbyterian order and polity. He attended General Assembly yearly and took seriously its work. He was always very careful to communicate to the congregation the business of the assembly. Congregations were urged to discuss the issue. Even at that time, the subject of homosexuality/lesbianism seemed to be no real issue with the congregation. Some rolled their eyes, but basically there seemed to be an attitude of “whose business is it anyway.” And, as with many issues of biblical interpretation, this congregation has always seemed to be a group of people who are fairly liberal. I use the word “liberal” not as it is used in the political arena today, 2009, but more as its definition – “not bound by authoritarianism, orthodoxy, or traditional forms”. They have always seemed to be bound by the “spirit” of the written word and less with its literal interpretation. They are always careful to keep the texts in their historical context.

Outside the church walls, the gay/lesbian movement was gathering steam. June was publically being recognized as gay pride month with marches and special television programs designed to raise public awareness. (Although it always seemed that the media would be sure to show every drag queen, every nude male/female, and those who celebrated the “darker” side of human sexuality, than the many conservative types.) It all seemed to be working in tandem with the civil rights movement. I remember in the very early 80’s a Hollywood movie hit the screens entitled, “Making Love”. It starred Harry Hamlin who was one of the TV and screen’s “hunks” of the day. The movie was about a single man who was very open about his sexuality with his physician and the physician falls in love with him. The plot thickens, of course—the physician is married, the marriage fails etc. etc. It was a big deal at that time. Two men kissing on the screen! Movie theatres were packed. There seemed to be a real sense that the community had arrived. People, albeit tentative, were becoming more open and accepting.

Then came AIDS.

Little did we know that while all this headway was being made that many young men were being infected with HIV and didn’t even know it—and worse—they were spreading it. That, coupled with more conservative government and the rise of the right-winged conservative religions, all headway was lost. I tell all of this because whilst this was going on in the culture, we were not, in this church anyway, ignoring it. Some of our members had sons and daughters who were gay. While many of their friends may have been aware of this, they remained respectful of their privacy. But a lot of anxiety was being felt over their siblings’ safety. Many members began wearing red ribbons as a way of supporting issues surrounding AIDS—lack of government funding for research, bias against the gay community (“They get what they deserve.”), concern over its spread to drug users and the promiscuous heterosexual population. Education and the use of condoms has still proven the best weapon. The church, society and government seemed not concerned until it hit home. We had one son of a member die from the disease. The parents were very open and the church, as is usual here, surrounded them with only love and support, never judgment. Increasingly the church’s ministry was becoming more directed to people with loved ones who were gay/lesbian oriented. They felt comfortable here. They could worship here and not have the pulpit telling them that their loved ones were damned.

It was during the pastorate of The Rev. Louis Kilgore that things really began to move forward. He really brought the issue “out”. He spoke the words in many sermons, made it be known we would only welcome everyone, printed the open statement in our advertising. In 2000, when the Boy Scouts of American acted to not accept avowed homosexuals, one of the elders (member of the board) initiated dialogue and action to stand in defiance to the organization. As a sponsor of one of the troops, the board needed to sign their Charter each year. We needed to come to some agreement. (More can be read of this in the Actions Taken by Sessions section.) Lou Kilgore stood with the board in its decisions. More courageously, he was not afraid to be defiant of the many complex amendments the denomination was passing at the time. Many of these amendments had been drawn up at the grassroots level of the denomination. Many were rive with fear and ignorance. Many churches in the Northeast, West and in and around major cities voted against them and still are in defiance of them. Because gays and lesbians tend to flock to these areas, people know them. They have neighbors who are gay/lesbian. They have family who are. They work with them. Then know some who have children. They just are not the monsters they are made to be. It was during this time that this church had its first gay couple with two children. They were immediately welcomed as were their children in the church school. We also have seen the first baptism of the adopted child of a gay couple. (Of course, like many heterosexual couples who have their babies baptized, we haven’t seen them since.) Most recently a commitment ceremony for a lesbian couple was performed in our sanctuary.

Not unlike society, each generation in the church seems to be more tolerant, or better yet, more accepting of the issue. One can hopefully assume that, as each succeeding generation has it’s sway, it will not even be categorized as an issue—thank God. Considering the length of time that it has taken for society, and the church, to wrap around issues of slavery, civil rights and women’s rights, in the half century of its “coming out”, the gay/lesbian movement has made huge strides. We pray and trust that the Holy Spirit will continue to speak to the church on these issues. The very fact that we are discussing it at this time is proof, to me anyway, that the Holy Spirit is speaking. The time is now. Thanks be to God.

Actions Taken by Session

Jan. 14, 1997 - At the request of the New Brunswick Presbytery we answered two questions regarding the proposed amendment to G6.016 to require chastity within marriage or chastity in singleness of church officers.

Question 1 - What if any implications do you perceive the adoption of this Amendment will have for your session?

Question 2 - What process of implementation particularly with reference to the examination of persons previously ordained and now to be installed again to ordained office would your Session propose?

The approved answers were: Question 1 - The Amendment may impact upon the selection process by the Nominating Committee. The Amendment may open the Session to charges of hypocrisy if this is ignored. It may cause more people to reconsider participation in church. Question 2 - If the Amendment is adopted it may require the Session to adopt procedures that are unacceptable to us.

May 18, 1997 - It was reported that New Brunswick Presbytery did not support the Amendment. The following motion that the Session reaffirm to our congregation our previous position that amendment B may require procedures that are unacceptable to us, and serve the Bound Brook Church was approved.

Sept. 9, 1998 - The Session held a discussion of the Covenant Network and its efforts to replace Amendment B with Amendment A {less restrictive) and to encourage further discussion.

Oct. 6, 1998 - The Session joins in affirmation of the call to covenant community by the Covenant Network of Presbyterians. The clerk was delegated to submit the affirmation of the call on behalf of the session.

Sept. 5, 2000 - The Session discussed the action taken by the main organization of the BSA not to accept avowed homosexuals and our relationship with Troop 41 and their stance which does not agree with ours. We need to sign their Charter as we sponsor the Troop. Rev. Kilgore met with their leaders and will have further discussion in October. The conclusion of the discussion was the following approved motion:

The Session will renew the Cub and Troop charters for the coming year with the understanding:

• that the Troop will not discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation
• that some of the Troop members and Session will meet to discuss issues pertaining to the topic
• that the leaders will participate in training sessions on issues of sexual orientation and concern for justice for those who may be misunderstood and wrongly treated in our world.

The Session feels its role is to affirm our stand on inclusiveness. It may be time to issue another position statement, outlining why we are doing what we are doing. A committee was appointed to draft a statement on behalf of the Session condemning the Boy Scouts’ position on homosexuality.

Nov.7, 2000 - Rev. Kilgore reported on the activities of Presbyterian Welcome, a group of churches in the NY, NJ, Penn, area who are asking that Amendment B be stricken from the Book of Order and that the question has become one of how to address the challenge of becoming an inclusive church. A motion was approved to invite Cliff Frasier, the leader of the group and members of the congregation to a special study gathering to address the question of Amendment B.

Dec. 5, 2000 - The following motion was approved. The BBPC welcomes and embraces all persons who see to live faithfully in Christ into full membership and participation, regardless of age, education, ethnic heritage, gender, national origin race or sexual orientation. As a result, we have been deeply sadden by our understanding of the position held by BSA to reject avowed homosexuals as scouts or leaders. We have supported and will continue to support the fundamentals taught to boys in the Scouting Program and pray that the National Organization will soon come to include acceptance and respect for all persons whether within scouting as members and leaders or outside of scouting. At the local level we believe this is an opportunity for education and awareness and so we continue to charter Troop Pack 41. Rev. Kilgore signed the charter and has received reports that the District Council is taking the lead with troops and packs concerning this issue.

Feb. 6, 2001 - Held a meeting with several members of Presbyterian Welcome. They have 21 affiliate members from several Presbyteries. A general discussion of their purpose and the issues was held. They also discussed their support of people within PCUSA who are facing judicial action because of their stands on inclusion and installation.

Apr. 3, 2001 - Update on the BSA issue: Local Council is forming a task force to file a petition of disagreement with the national organization. Rev. Kilgore distributed the Booklet prepared by the Mt. Kisco Pres. Church to assist educating persons (Session, members of congregation, Scout Leaders).

June 16, 2009 - The Bound Brook Presbyterian Church has a long history of welcoming gay and lesbian people into full participation in the life of the church. According to the Book of Order, the Session is to approve services of worship in the sanctuary. Therefore, the Worship and Music Commission recommends that the Session approve the use of the sanctuary for Commitment Services and Civil Unions. Approved 16 yes, 2 no.

These are the actions taken by the Session that I could find in the Minutes of the Session.

Distribution Tables for Responses on the Beyond Hospitality Questionnaire

Total Number of Respondents = 144

Table 1

Do you believe sexual orientation (heterosexual/homosexual) is inborn or chosen?

Table 2

What is your understanding of the Bible’s teachings about homosexual relationships? (responses were grouped into the categories in the table below)

Table 3

Do you have lesbian or gay friends?

Table 4

Do you have family members who are gay or lesbian?

Table 5

Do you believe that our church should abide by requirements for ordaining officers found the in the Current Language of the constitution of the PCUSA or in the language of Amendment B

Responses were listed as follows:
Current = 10; Proposed = 82; Yes = 11; and No = 10; These responses were combined as follows: Current and Yes = 21; Proposed and No = 92

Table 6

As a church member are you committed to the full participation of gay and lesbian people in the life of the church, including ordination as elders and deacons?

Table 7

Civil unions are legal in New Jersey. The constitution of the PCUSA allows pastors to bless civil unions as long as the service is not a marriage service. Marriage is defined by the church as being between a man and a woman. If you were serving on the session, would you vote to allow one of the pastors to perform a civil union ceremony for a gay or lesbian couple using the sanctuary?

Table 8A

Do you believe that gay and lesbian people have been treated unfairly by the Presbyterian Church at Bound Brook?

Table 8B

Do you believe that gay and lesbian people have been treated unfairly by the larger church?

Table 9

Do you consider yourself a heterosexual or homosexual person?

Table 10

Are you a member of this church?

Table 11

Please indicate your gender

Table 12

Age by Categories